headstones of toxicity
by cabinseventy
Summary: His mother lies in the grave at his feet. Jason had been expecting a surge of feeling and emotion, something that'll make him want to sob and break down, but instead Jason feels nothing.


**muhahaha, the very tiny amount of valgrace totally wasn't needed, but im still a sucker.**

 **disclaimer: i do not own pjo and/or any of its characters**

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Jason's heart beats faster and faster until it nearly stops. He wonders if he'll have to shock his own heart if he ever goes into cardiac arrest.

"Dude, it's okay." Leo murmurs, squeezing Jason's hand tighter.

"It's not," Jason says, and Leo doesn't ask for him to elaborate. It's quiet except for the grass and pebbles crunching under their feet.

It's only dawn, the sun lifting up steadily in the east. Its soft light sends fog dispersing through the air like a delicate layer of protection. Even though it's nearing summer, the air is a bit chilly but Jason hardly notices it.

Jason doesn't recognize any of the stones or statues he passes by. None of it's familiar which makes sense because it's the first time Jason's ever been to this location. He's a terrible person, but to be fair, he sort of didn't know it existed until a couple of days ago.

"Your mom's right here," Leo says softly. His fingers untangle from Jason's, leaving Jason's hand cold. "I'm going to check if any security's found us yet."

"Okay," Jason puts his hands in his pockets.

His mother lies in the grave at his feet. Jason had been expecting a surge of feeling and emotion, something that'll make him want to sob and break down, but instead, Jason feels nothing.

It's a simple headstone, one with her name and something about being A _Star._ It only calls her a mother to children, rather than the lovelier words of _Loving Mother_ that other graves adorn.

Jason doesn't know much about her but knows she burned out like a star. Quick and explosive, taking everything with her. From the small things Jason can pull from Thalia, Jason knows his mother was toxic. A selfish person who didn't care for her children as much as she cared for her own fame.

Last Jason's seen of her, she was a _mania_ , a wisp of her past self-absorbed by her own insanity. He doesn't think of her that often because she doesn't really add to his life.

Even as his mother, Jason is indifferent to her. She hasn't done much for him. The few memories Jason has of her are nice but are under layers and layers of new memories. Memories of Camp Jupiter, of the Legion, of Wilderness. Memories of Reyna, or Piper, of Leo. And _gods,_ does Jason like these ones a lot better.

Jason wished he bought flowers though. Sunflowers, maybe. Or carnations. He doesn't even know what type of flowers she liked.

"There's a cop." Jason hears Leo running before hearing Leo's voice. "With a guard dog. So much for sneaking into a cemetery unnoticed."

"We should've bought Nico," Jason reaches to touch the headstone. He holds his breath as his fingertips only lightly graze the cool granite. He feels nothing.

"Nico still creeps me out," Leo whines but there's a sense of fondness in his voice. Leo stands awkwardly to the side, the hood of his jacket over his head. "Do you need some more time or…"

Jason steps from the graveyard and grabs Leo's hand. "No. I'm good."

"Good," Leo nods. "Now, where's Tempest? I swear, most unreliable transport _ever_."

Jason calls for the storm spirit. Tempest doesn't respond to the first two calls but swiftly approaches after that. Jason doesn't say anything when he helps Leo up. Leo blows a raspberry at the security officer who stares up at them in wonderment as the three soar into the sky.

In between crackles of lightning coming from Tempest's mane, Leo yells to Jason.

"How'd it go with your mom?"

Jason takes a second to think of a response. "I didn't feel anything."

Leo's silent for only a moment. "I didn't think you would! Sorry to hear though. My mama was the _shit!"_

Jason figures he's supposed to feel jealous to some extent. Contrarily, he's happy that someone he cares about had a caring parent, even if for a little while.

"No, it's fine." Jason smiles, even though Leo couldn't see it from behind. "I have a family."

"Damn straight," Jason feels lips on the back of his neck. Leo kisses his neck softly, leaving smoldering marks of love. Leo's thin arms encircle from behind. "You have me, the dashing partner. Piper, the crazy cat lady-"

"She doesn't even have any cats!"

"Who cares! Your mother sucks, and you've got us." Leo says quietly into Jason's back. "You should come with me when we see my mom. I can tell you all about Houston and the giant ass cicadas."

"Sounds great," Jason agrees to the unplanned-and-unofficial future date. It reaches mute ears because Jason can tell Leo's already asleep. Jason hug's Tempest's neck as the mare speeds up.

The nothingness that's been left by his Beryl Grace has already been filled, filled with nothing short of amazing and incredulous love. Jason feels warm as he charges through the chilled morning.


End file.
